Most of the first hour was taken up by re-hashing with former bachelors… My favorite moment was the Trista and Ryan stuff…

She notes that “it’s a lot harder to get pregnant than it looks”. I suppose that’s because there are no cameras following them into bed. Ryan was wearing this stupid ski cap. I don’t care if you are living in Colorado or Utah or wherever he’s from, if you are indoors, take off the damn hat, you look like an idiot. Secondly, I don’t think he said a word the entire time. Trista kept “rattling on” like she normally does, and he just looked at her with affection. I wonder if he was going to write a poem about that. And of course he had one of those postage stamp goatees under his lip. I hate that guy. Then she says, she loves the new bachelor, because he’s just like Ryan. Really? That’s right, I forget Ryan only speaks in 4 word sentences and moves like a Robot.

Anyway onto last night’s show… The Overnight dates. Moana’s first. He actually seems excited around her. I’m beginning to think he’s picking her to win it all. But after last week’s breakdown after meeting his family, I have no idea. She could be the first reality show contestant to murder someone. It’s going to happen at some point. I mean Christ our Vice President almost did it. Anyway, he was impressed that she spoke Italian. I’m pretty sure he’s really impressed with her Giant Rack. After he invites her back to the Fantasy Suite, she goes in for a big kiss. It was actually kinda hot. But I hate the way he kisses. I mean, I’m a dude and I shouldn’t care about that, but um, he doesn’t look interested in kissing anyone. I think he might be gay.

Anway second date, Sara from TN. How she has made it this far I have no idea. He kepts talking about how STRONG their friendship is. He does tell her that, if it wasn’t for her, he doesn’t know if he would have made it this far. Which might be why he’s kept her around so long. He has yet to figure out if they can have a physical attraction. Her body language is so stand-offish, it’s amazing. She seems like she would be sack of coffee beans in bed. But for whatever reason, if I was on the Bachelor, she’d be the one I pick. But then again, I usually pick women who don’t seem sexually interested in me anyway!

Onto, Susan. They are setting her up for a fall. And I don’t mean because they went rock climbing. Oh great Travis is also wearing a stupid ski cap. At least he’s outdoors. He confronts her about what her family thought and the girls thought. And whether or not she’s in this for real. She of course denies it. But we all know she’s in it for the acting. But the GREATEST MOMENT IN THE HISTORY of the bachelor happens. I hope I still have it on TIVo. As Susan is trying to salvage herself, she goes for broke and tells him that she’s falling in love with him. There’s a CLOSE UP of his face… His face is FROZEN. He blinks. And actually makes an AUDIBLE GULP. I’m not sure if his CPU was rebooting, or he is actually nervous that he’s going to break her heart. I don’t know. But I rewound it 10 times. If I do have it on TIVO, it may NEVER EVER BE DELETED. HIGHEST OF HIGH COMEDY.

Then my favorite part of the show comes up. The Rose Ceremony. Two roses… Three Girls. Fantastic. First pick. MOANA. Oh that girls winning. But look at the faces on Susan and Sara. They both look like they just shit actual concrete brocks. Their faces are amazing. Then… he nearly breaks down as he says… Sara’s name. And Susan looks like she just lost out to Tara Reid for a part in the next Jerry O’Connell movie. I was watching with my roommate and his girlfriend and we were high fiving each other when Susan went down. It was great. Then came her limo ride. As she looks like she’s auditioning for the role of the lonely housewife who’s husband dies and falls in love with the detective who investigates his murder only to find out it was the wife all along on SKINAMAX.

I love this show! By the way the Sports Guy has a great article on the show here:

Flava Of Love

Now VH1 has an answer to the Bachelor franchise, and that is in the form of it's feature star, Flava Flav. (FLAVA FLAV). You really can't type that without saying it out loud. This is a great show to watch in contrast to the Bachelor. This week was no exception. Flav has NO problem making out with a girl in a restaurant. Tongues flopping around. He's funny. He gets the girls in embarrassing situations. And to be honest, seems to be in it for LOVE. But I'm rooting for Hoops.

HammRadio.com's Tivo Season Pass

You probably are wondering, what's on my Season Pass? Well, I know you've been thinking, what's in the list. So here it goes. This is in NO particular ORDER!

• Arrested Development [Buy DVD]
  I'm not sure how much work this Season Pass will do. But as I've written before it's the Best Show on Television. But that was before I was reminded that the REAL best show on television is...
• 24

  The adventures of Jack Bauer are addicting. And watching each week is salivating. But the BEST way to get addicted to the show? If you have never watched the show before, buy the DVDs. Seriously. I didn't follow the show during the first season. I knew I would like the show, but I didn't get into it. I almost had a chance to give in, when FX played all 24 episodes in one weekend. I didn't watch it. Then in the second season, my ex and I started watching the show and from the opening moments we were hoooked. Over the holidays, we even borrowed DVDs of the first season and watched those while we were getting used to Season 2. We WERE HOOKED.

  Now in Season 5, I'm a veteran, and I have friends who are ONLY know watching the back DVDs, and they are hooked. My buddy Wayne is one of those people. He will call me after finishing each DVD asking me what will happen next. I won't tell him. I won't even tell him what happens 3 years from now. But he did note that he likes watching the DVDs better than WAITING for the show each week! And fortunately for me who hasn't bought DVDs yet, A&E have been playing 4 hour blocks of reruns. They are on Day 4 right now. I didn't think you could watch the reruns. But after watching them on A&E, I say yes, yes you can! This show really deserves it's own column. And I promise I will get to one.

• The Office
  I'm a huge fan of the original. And even though I might look like Ricky Gervais and his podcast might be downloaded 999,999 more times than mine, I still like this show and I'm not jealous. Steve Carrell is great. They have a deep cast. But they don't have Martin Freeman who was fantastic as Tim on the original. On this show, the character's Jim.
• My Name Is Earl
  This is a great new show. Jason Lee is great. It shows how good TV can be when film actors come to television. His brother is sweet and you can't beat Jaime Pressley and Nadine Velasquez on the HOTNESS scale. This is MUST SEE TV.
• The OC
  Hot chicks. That's why I watch this show. HOT chicks. And oh, yeah some great dialogue that makes me laugh. Did I mention the hot chicks? And am I glad they sent Marissa's 14 year old sister back to boarding school so I don't feel so creepy. Yes...Yes.. I'm glad.
• CSI
  I jumped on the CSI bandwagon late as well. With Tivo, though, I was able to catch up to the new seasons. And it always seems to be on.
• CSI:Miami
  This show... **taking off sunglasses** makes me think **put sunglasses back on** that Caruso should have never have left NYPD Blue. He cracks me up on this show. Also, I want to marry Emily Proctor.
• CSI:NY
  The second Tivo has allowed me to enjoy this show. I like Gary Sinise and the greek chick from Providence.
• The West Wing
  The show is in it's final season, and I guess is on sabbatical during the Olympics. Or I keep missing new episodes. I don't know.
• Law & Order
  The Franchise starter. I'm a big fan of Dennis Farina on the new shows. But I make sure the Tivo catches the SPIKE reruns as well.
• Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
  I have a thing for Mariska Hargitay. There I said it.
• The Bachelor Paris
  The beauty of the second Tivo. I can tivo the two hour episodes, while the other gets 24. I'm in Tivo heaven.
• The Daily Show
  I get my news from the Daily Show. And also candidates for Asshole A$$-hole of the week.
• The Colbert Report
  Stephen Colbert is like Duncan Hines Yellow Cake with Butter Cream frosting.
• The Simpsons
  The newer episodes don't hold a candle to the old episodes. But I like to catch some episodes that I have missed in the 30 years this show has been on.
• The Family Guy
  This is on teh list, and there are lot of shows that are CAN MISS instead of CAN'T miss. The ONLY reason to watch this show is Brian and Stewie. Probably why the Cartoon Network is going to have a Stewie Talk show.
• South Park
  I have the first 5 seasons on DVD. But I can't get enough of this show. Comedy Central ran a marathon over the weekend of some of my favorite episodes including Majorine, where Butters infiltrates a slumber party. High comedy.
• Everyone Hates Chris
  I just added this to the second Tivo. This was in conflict with other programs. The first show I watched was the Valentine's Day episode. It's good stuff.
MI-5
• Doctor Who
  Right now there are no episodes on PBS. But I'm waiting for them on BBC America!
• Daily News Live
  I haven't been watching this show that much now that Eagles season is over.
• Saturday Night Live
  I've been tracking the best skits and performers of all time. NO really I have.
• Star Trek: TNG [Buy DVD]
  This has been playing on the Tivo for a while, but I haven't been catching up on the show. This week I caught a great 2 part episode called Unification with SPOCK! And of course the pilot episodes, Encounter At Farpoint.
• Meet the Press
  If I don't get the news from the Daily Show, Tim Russert will tell me what to think.
• VH1 Top 20
  I like to keep up on what 40 year old women are listening to these days.
• VH1 Web 20
  I've just added this show. It's another show from the producers of Best Week Ever. It shows you the video clips you've been getting in your mailbox each week. Then I realize, I must not have any friends any more because I'm not getting these sent to me!
• Sports Reporters
  I'm rarely up early enough to catch this show. And if I am, I'm too hung over to watch the show.
• The Apprentice
  When this show is running, often it is in conflict with other shows. Fortunately, there are reruns on CNBC, which allow me to catch up on the show.